Ughhhh I hate this part of the Bachelor!

So now we are transported to Bali….hot, humid…sticky sweaty….all things Bachelor!

Kaitlyn is the first date and her hair and make-up which usually look pretty good, are now wet and sweaty looking.  Her hair looks stringy and greasy and I know it’s because of the climate there, so just…yuck.  As you can tell, I am not a hot and humid kind of girl.  So they meet up…suck face, sweat on each other and then go to a temple where they can’t kiss.  Bless that temple…really.  Everyone does seem friendly there, but I think the sarongs would have given me some major SWASS (sweaty A$$).  Then they go walking through the streets and see monkeys.  Now those kind of monkeys FREAK me the F**K out.  If one of them came near me I can tell you that I would be doing some major ninja kicks.  So what do they do?  Buy bananas and hold them over their heads….seriously?  Those freaky primates climb right up them to get the bananas.  Dude, those animals pick their butts and eat whatever comes out….major non-hygienic.  Then one peed on Chris and I think I dry heaved about 3 times.  I just wanted to dump a gallon of hand sanitizer all over the both of them.  Chris’ pits are super sweaty now, which we knew would happen in Bali.  I can’t give him crap about it though as I am a heavy sweat monger.  I hate it….I sweat when I think about sweating so I definitely would only be wearing white shirts so the sweat stains don’t show….I have learned through the years. My dad could soak a shirt on a hot humid day in about 2 hours…no lie.  So I come by it naturally.  Maybe Chris could use some Botox in those pits…..I hear it works to stop the sweat glands.  He can afford it.

So after some majorly wet, yucky kisses (cringe-worthy, I just wasn’t feeling it!)  They go to their evening date where they are still sweaty....seriously, does Bali  not have air conditioning???   They do the total "share that you love him" because it is mandatory something Chris wants to hear before you get to go to the next level of "the game".  That is why I really loathe the overnight dates...it seems rehearsed and not real.  It is the first time I have heard a Bachelor tell all the women he is falling love with them.  I am sure that makes his fiancee feel SOOOOO special.  So the overnight creepy Chris Harrison card comes and of course Kaitlyn decides she will stay.  The fact it is from Chris H, just lowers my labido right there.  Ughhhh.

Next we have Whitney.  Thank you Elaine M. for telling me about her spray tan, cuz that is all I noticed!!!  Whit, you need to cover your knees and elbows with lotion and not go crazy on them with the lotion or wipes.  (That was not a spray tan....that was a total do-it-yourself-----I am an expert on that)  Her knees and elbows screamed to be put in the ocean so that salt water could erode the orangy tone.  I think it might have helped, her knees seemed less dirty looking.  She by far had the best date...not such a sweaty Chris with the wind and water....that means he really does love her and her helium voice....they do have chemistry, I do see it.  Sorry all you Whitney haters....I think he might actually want in her pants to marry her.  They had a great convo on her moving to Arlington....she told him she wanted to be a wife and mother first.....(and not have to work at a job AND be a wife and mother...smart!)  He loved that cuz Arlington is his kryptonite so of course they go do it in the fantasy suite....duh.

Next is Robot Becca.   I have to admit that maybe that she looks like a woman in love or the make-up dept is really stepping it up...she looked amazing!  Their date was a total bore. I did have to fast forward it a little bit.  Sorry, Becca bores me and Chris has that weird face when he's with her.  Get that man a bowling towel to wipe the sweat off him......he has big drops on his forehead constantly!!  Becca is obviously use to heat and humidity...in Louisiana....she hardly sweats...bitch.  I could not stop staring at those 80's swishy shorts though....I had a pair of those!

Is anyone over the virgin aspect of this....I sure am. I am glad she has saved herself...Robots do that.  She has never been in love so let's not add slut on top of that.  Of COURSE he is going to say he respects her.  Even if he is lying.  He really wanted to see how they were in bed and now he has to wait.

Then we get to see the two Chris Genius's talking about the girls.  Please, you could see the dead hamster not turning on the wheel when Harrison spoke.  He is so not interesting.  So I fast forwarded through that too....ALL the Bachelors have to act like they love all 3 women and cannot decide.

Rose Ceremony....I knew that Kaitlyn would go home....they just didn't have the chemistry they use to.  Not sure why.  She tried to give him the stink eye and then not look at him....it looked staged.  But I am really glad this episode is over!

Next week:  Women Tell All.....that should be a lot of material to write about!  Might have to make it a 2 parter again!

Random thoughts:
Whitney looks awesome with her hair up....do that more often Alvin....Errr Whitney

Chris looked HOT at the rose ceremony...not sweaty hot but sexy....told ya Chris...wear white!

The Amazing and Incredible Family Dates...Part II

Kaitlyn has always been my girl.  I always find myself rooting for the Canadian girls…wonder why that is, Eh???  Anyway, they must have a home in Phoenix, AZ so she meets Chris at a dumpster in an alley, payback for the Cost-co date.  Then they go and do some rap…..dude, you can write it pretty well, but you have NO RYHTYM!  I did think Kaitlyn’s family was the most normal of them all and she seems to have a very loving family.  Maybe that is why she is so confident and funny.  She needs to be a little more smoozy though.  I think that is what Chris wants from her.  I liked the billboard idea though, she gets the most points and wins a trip to Cost-co for her Kaitlyn ♥ Chris sign.  I just wish I could see her in Iowa….of course we would be best friends but she seems like she needs a Starbucks and a nightclub a little more handy. 

I would be lying if I didn’t think the Playboy thing didn’t have at least something to do with Chris’ decision to send Jade home.  I also wanted to share my thoughts on her family….weirdos!  They act like they don’t even know Jade, or maybe WE just didn’t know Jade.  Like I said, she has that Freak Flag and while she didn’t fly it when any of us were looking, she has definitely flown it.  I was cringing at being with her family so imagine Chris’ reaction to it.  So she shows him her Playboy “spread” (ha, I knew that word had a double meaning) and he seems pretty much at a loss for words, but certainly doesn’t peel his eyes from the computer.  So he told her it was something in her past, he doesn’t hold it against her…oh come on!!!  I am sure he MIGHT have thought that at the time, but having a night to sleep  on it and have a little **bow chicky bow wow** alone time with the computer and those images that evening I think it meant more than what he had told her.  How would you like it if the farmer at the local bank came up and said “Saw your wife while I was surfing the World Wide Web, man she has some nice cahunas!”  Ummm, no.  I don’t think he would like that.

So a tense rose ceremony….Jade goes home, which I kinda saw that coming.  Bless her heart (that is what you say when you don’t have anything nice to say about her). So upcoming is Bali where the girls will have flat humid hair and Chris will have even more sweaty armpits….cuz it’s humid freakin hot there. 

Random thoughts:

Jade and her brother could be twins…it was eerie….that floppy hair of his and they have the exact same nose!  And that he said she was a wild mustang…about your sister?  That’s odd.

Amazing and incredible are getting really old….let’s think of some new words to use…get out the pocket thesaurus.

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie-hole!

I could not be happier with this episode….my heart is zinging!!!  Shall we get to all the shit that unfolded last night?? Why yes, I think we shall!

I was happy to see Becca get a one on one date with Chris.  I was beginning to think they had forgotten about her.  I am glad I got to see it because I was like that Robot in the Lost in Space television series with my innards… “Danger, Danger” – reason being you ask?  Becca is kind of a robot.  She is not very dynamic and not very interesting.  I think I could watch paint dry and be more enthusiastic rather than listening to her.  She’s never been in love…hmmm….well robots don’t fall in love, they don’t have that “chip” for emotion.  She touches him and it’s just awkward.  I have a hard time watching them on screen.  Can we just say though that the loft that Chris is staying in Des Moines is kick ass????  Loved it!

So everyone is painting applying make-up (especially Britt..yowza!) and getting ready for the rose ceremony/cocktail party.  Britt already told the other girls the night before that she is packing and telling Chris she is leaving.  The other girls are stoked yet try to get some more intel from her.  “Like what would it take to make you stay?”  Britt….nothing.   Ummmm yeah right, you just don’t want to stand there during the rose ceremony because your huge ego and painted eyes could not take it if he didn’t offer a rose.  So she cries and then listens (so we think) to them talk about her.  It really doesn’t matter cuz they talk about her in front of her too.  She needs to get over herself.  C. Harris announces that there will be no cocktail party.  Britt is stunned because she has prepared her award winning speech that will be begging him to keep her.  So as they are preparing for the rose ceremony, Britt just can’t stand it that there is not a rose marked on it “Britt – you are my future wife, please run away with me now and I will only think of you from the end of time.”  Ya, I don’t think a rose could fit all that wording on it anyway.  So she pulls him aside.  Have any of you noticed Chris’ uncomfortable face?  The one where is looks like he’s trying to hold in a fart and lick spinach off his teeth at the same time?  It’s disturbing.  So Britt goes on and kisses his ass and tells him she is sorry (doesn’t sound like you are giving him the brush off does it Britt?) and he says that he just can’t go forward knowing she has been lying.  Then Britt says (and this is Catty Girls 101) is it Carly?  Did Carly say something?  Because Britt KNOWS she told Carly these things and now has to back-track.  Best line from Chris “I want that from a wife, one that can tell me the truth.”  I don’t have the exact quote, but that is what I heard… “And I don’t think that is you.” So HE sent HER home….not what Britt, Britt had in mind, but she got her huge cry and loud sobbing out of her system while standing/sitting by the curb.  It was pathetic they could hear her…just more attention from her.  And then we get a close up of all the war paint coming off from Britt’s eyes.  Girl, they make water-proof mascara…use it!!

Back to the rose ceremony.  I was a little sad that Carly went home.  I knew they didn’t have the connection, but I still want her to be his side-kick.  Hopefully they will stay best buds.  (Sad face)

So now we go to hometown dates, with Becca the Robot and her family in Shrevesport, LA.  I did not think her family date went that well.  They basically just said that Becca is emotionally dead and that she’s never been in love.  Red Flag!!!  And all of her family said that!  Her best time was the ferris wheel and those are the most boring rides at the amusement park….get my anaology of that?  Boring.

Then Chris is off to Chicago, IL to see Whitney.  I know a lot of you do not like Whitney.  I was so put off by her voice and her wayyyy too excitedness to even want to see her on camera.  Well, she has grown on me.  And I say that because, she doesn’t chime in on all the bullshit of the girls, she seems honest, she loves Chris, and she seemed to be a really good friend to all the girls in the house…even drunk Jordan.  So I think I am going to give her a pass and try to really like her.  I love her job…how awesome would that be.  I am glad that Chris got to see that.  My question is…will she want to leave it???  I hope Iowa City has a place for her.  I don’t even know if Iowa City does IVF stuff???  So Whitney doesn’t have any parents.  Her mom died at 50 from a blood clot from a routine surgery and Whit doesn’t know her dad.  I loved her uncle though…he seemed cool. And her sister not wanting to give her blessing was smart.  Call her when you decide…M’kay…good!  I think that was the smartest thing anyone has said all season!!  If any of you saw the very last clip of the show it showed Whit’s dog humping it’s play toy!  I died laughing and then laughed even more when I heard Chris’ high pitched girlie laugh….I wasn’t sure if it was him or Whit laughing…but is was definitely him!

I will post more later.  I need more time to think…my brain is kind of mush with 2 days of Bachelor!

Welcome to the Hawkeye State!

We got an extra dose of the Bachelor tonight….so 2 posts for you!!  Hot Diggity Dog!

Let’s just dive right into the crazy train shall we?

Uggh, I thought I wouldn't have to see the lunatic Kelsey until the Women Tell All Night which is going to be wicked…and cringe worthy but I will be right there front and center!  That woman is 50 Shades of Cra------zy.  No doubt about it.  With her interview with Chris, she only proved how diabolical she is.  I can’t believe this is coming out of my mouth, but thank you to Ashley I. for throwing her under the bus (as well as yourself Ash- good job.)

I already knew the other Ashley was a real Looney Tunes also, I just didn’t know how much. The wandering all over where the cameras and crew chilled….they probably grabbed an extra butter knife as she entered their calm space.  Not letting that chick anywhere near my veggie tray is what I can hear them saying.  She takes the cake for being HALF-BAKED…..no joke.  I think even Jason from Friday the 13^th would be frightened of her.

I won’t even talk about Andi and her heart-break.  She didn’t choose Chris, so there you have it.  Maybe she wants to try to get back with him….I never put it past chicks that want more camera time. 

So basically Chris telling the other Chris about what has gone down so far was not very interesting so I really have nothing good to report on that.  So let’s just move on to last night’s episode.

I had to laugh at them in Des Moines.  Coming down the Capitol Steps like a group of 5^th grade field trippers.  Des Moines has some very interesting places and clubs and it really is a great town.  I hope they took something from that, but I think the only person so far that appreciates it is Whitney. 

So Jade gets the first date and they actually DROVE her to Arlington from Des Moines, by herself. That is torture in itself but if you love the guy then I guess you would go to the ends of the earth for him.  I am sure Jade thought she reached the end of the earth.  When she said she came from a small town, I was sure she would be one of the only ones that would understand Chris’ lifestyle…I was wrong.  She was kind of snotty about it and I didn’t like it.  Do people really think that in a small town they can’t go to a bigger neighboring town and have fun and get the necessities?  It is not Little House on the Prairie where you make that big city trip once every 2 months….plllleaaasseee…you all have to be more intelligent.  Guess what, we can get to a nightclub in less time than some of those girls can get to a nightclub….in their same city.  Just less traffic for us and I love that about Iowa!

So they go to his home town football game and Jade puts on an academy award performance of trying to act like it was so sweet and she is so shy and she met his parents. Gag me.  Chris took every opportunity to stick his tongue down her throat.  I certainly hope the Playboy story comes out soon.  I loved Carly’s line: “Hey parents, don’t google my wife.”  Yea, that’s going to be a game changer….or at least I hope it is.  I am really not liking Jade, not that she has ever really been on my radar, but at least Chris is getting some groping in.  Can’t fault a guy for that.

Whitney’s date was just cute.  She is cute….helium voice and all. And I have to say that she seems to be the only one that could probably handle the farm life. I would love to say that Carly and Becca and Kaitlyn could handle it too, but I am not so sure. We already know that Britt loves  hates it there….but told Chris she loved it.  Faker!  I really, really saw the connection that the producers have been trying to hide so well with Whitney.  They couldn’t keep their damn hands of each other.  The mural was awesome.  It made me think romantic thoughts that made me want to gag myself.  They had a great night.

While the great date was going on, the other girls snuck to Arlington.  I love Carly and I think she should move with Chris and his fiancée and be their best friend.  She fits with him just not in a love sort of way. I love the way she loves him and looks out for him.  Even though in the back of her mind, she knows there is no connection.  At least she wants him to be happy.  This was witnessed on the group date where she took him aside and told him about Britt’s lies.  She was looking out for him and for once on this show it wasn’t for her own personal gain.  She doesn’t want him to look back and know that he chose a faker.  I applauded Carly and wish that she could stick around, but I know her time will be short.  You can feel it between them.

I loved, loved, loved that Britt was pissed that she wasn’t the center of the world and Kaitlyn got the important “take you to my family” rose. And I was kinda like Go Chris when she pouted about it and he told her he didn’t really know what she wanted from him.  I could see Carly high fiving herself in her mind because she could not have had it play out any better than what she saw…Britt giving herself her own rope to hang herself.  I REALLY hope that Carly gets to be the next Bachelorette!!!  That would really piss Britt off!!!  Yay me for thinking of that!!

So tomorrow is the rose ceremony and we can all see what’s coming…well at least I can.  It should be good entertainment though!

Random thoughts:

Do all farmers name their non-milking cows, or do you think that was just for TV?

The girls all said they saw cornfields…but everything looked harvested to me.  Were they supposed to say that, or did they just see empty fields and assume they were corn fields at one time….rookie mistake, they could have been bean fields.

Save a Horse....Ride a Farm Boy!

Finally, the rose ceremony (which wasn’t that exciting) you knew after all the crap that Kelsey pulled that she would probably get a rose.  Her inner evil was banking on it.  I did it again….I gasped at my tv and said “Oh no she didnnnnn’t!”  After Whacka Doodle Kelsey had her panic attack and was smiling that leering, scary smile she said, “I better get a rose.”  Shut up. WFT?  In the end Samantha who has not even had a conversation with Chris on camera and MacKenizie who is 21 years old with a child were sent home.  MacKenzie made me want to “Jillian slap” her when she said she didn’t know if she would ever find true love again.  Sweetie, you are 21….get a babysitter and go to the bar, I am sure you can pick up someone, you have PLENTY of time.  So over her.

So they all pack up and travel to Deadwood, SD…oh yeah….I get it that Chris is not taking them on all these sexy, glamorous places because he wants them to get a feel for the Midwest.  And while I personally enjoy seeing the Midwest, I am sure a lot of the girls are like, WTF??  Chris said Deadwood is sooooo romantic.  Come on Chris…Fiji, Hawaii, Paris and Tuscany are all romantic places.  Deadwood is so NOT romantic.  Historical, cool? Yes I will give it that.  But not romantic. 

The date card arrives and finally Becca gets a 1 or 1.  And they went horseback riding and ok, ok….it was kind of romantic at the fire when they were talking and holding hands.  Becca is actually a real person and seems easy to talk to.  I see a connection….finally!  And she got a kiss!!  Good for you girl!

The next date card arrives and it’s a group date (without Kelsey or Ashley) and I was DYING!!  Loved it that one of them was going home (but in the back of my mind I was thinking, could the stars and planets actually align and BOTH would go home?) I was too afraid to hope….and to hear Kelsey’s psychotic cackle.

The group date was AWESOME!  They got to meet Big and Rich and write a song to Chris.  For those of you that know me, that is SOOOO my element.  I would have killed it…just sayin’.  Jade was so pathetic.  I like her but she needs to get over her little shy self.  Where was your freak flag?  It is just a song!!  You didn’t seem to be too shy when you posed for Playboy???  I can’t see THE woman we see every week ever doing that.  Ashley S must have given her one of her personalities to pose for the spread.  Kudos to Big and Rich for making it fun for the girls though…I just adore them!  Then they all started singing. Oh my GOD!!  Chris and Whitney are NOT good singers.  If they have babies they will be tone deaf and have no chance at American Idol.  Britt of course was good, she’s good at everything and pretty and I just want to puke.  I know he likes her but she is just in it for the fame…whore!!!!  I just want her to go home! Chris has this really huge chemistry with her though and all the girls see it.  I just want Carley to shout “Get a room” to them…just once.  The other girls were ok, Carley’s was the best.  She does it for a living though, so not surprised.

The evening portion of the group date pissed me off.  I was not a happy camper where Chris was concerned.  If you wanted a one on one date with Britt, then you should have changed the rules…AGAIN, and asked for one.  It was so rude to take her for one hour to the Big and Rich concert and leave the other girls.  I don’t blame then for being very upset and crying even.  I think if it were me, I would have walked out and partied with my girlfriends in Deadwood.  When Chris got back it was awkward and instead of apologizing to the girls, he leaves them feeling like pieces of crap.  Good one, a-hole.  Britt of course just sat there and said she felt bad that they were upset….oh I am sure you felt so bad that you got to be on stage with Big and Rich (who you don’t even know, or their music) and sucked face with Chris in front of tons of people…totally your element.  Can’t wait for you to see Arlington Sweetie….your time will come.

So the girls go home, licking their wounds and it’s time for Nucking Futs and High School Sophomore to go on their 2 on 1 date.  To the Badlands…very fitting.  It wasn’t romantic…the rocks looked treacherous and there was some gypsy type bed set up.  Sweet Marshmallow Jesus, he wasn’t planning on using that was he???  Gross.  So Ashley goes first and Chris asks her point blank about Kelsey.  And she told him.  Then he threw her under the bus when he talked to “I’m so smart and I use big words, Kelsey”.  Kelsey handled it like a true serial killer and actually believed she was telling him the truth.  The face-off in the gypsy bed.  I laughed out loud when nutty Kelsey kept staring at Ashley so that she would see that she was dangerously low on her psychotic meds.  That girl needs a check up from the neck up.  It all went down so well in my book though…they both went home and I no longer have to be uncomfortable watching the show. Chris must have had a microphone and headset on and a “safeword” to be whisked away from them so fast by the helicopter.  I can’t imagine how the girls dealt with them in the house.  Awkward!!!!  Loved it when they popped the champagne when they saw Kelsey’s suitcase taken away!  Priceless

So next week we get a Sunday and Monday.  Not sure my mind can take that, but I do see they travel to Arlington and the producers want us to think that Britt has a panic attack.  We will see.  She needs to make it a bit farther for the Bachelorette shoe in!!  I thought she excused herself in SD and actually I had heard Meagan did too, but guess not!!

Random thoughts:

Meagan is either super chill or she smokes weed.

Whitney must lighten her eyebrows when she makes herself up.  I thought she had caterpillars lying there several times tonight in the hotel.

Until next week!

Amazing, Tragic, but sooo Amazing

WTF?  No rose ceremony tonight….well this episode just turned into a shit storm!  This is what I think of it…..

Cruise ship Karaoke Carlie finally got a one on one date.  I wanted them to seem hot and heavy , but I found it well super awkward.  Hottie Chris trying to do the sensual breathing was SO NOT HOT.  He looked like he was in a Lamaze class.  And what was with sexual guru trying to touch his chin and pulling it up and down.  It would take everything in me not to slap the bitch.  And Carlie…..pllllleaaaasssee….you were given the Golden Ticket!!  Touch the man, breath on the man, get his manhood at attention!!!  I know you felt awkward and so did we, it was cringeworthy.  But you need to get over the jerk-wad who did not touch you in your last relationship for 2 friggin years.  I have one word for your ex honey….GAY.  Sorry, it’s not your fault.  You were his hiding behind the closet girlfriend and you just didn’t know it.  He didn’t want va-jay-jay….he wanted the big P.  So you can let go of all that…ride his tractor, plant the seed, let him do a little ripping….well you know what I mean.

As the date progressed, they did redeem themselves and seemed pretty intimate.  I was imagining that I was Carlie though….*sigh*

Ugghhh, Britt got the one on one date.  I am so over her.  Especially after some of the girls said she didn’t want to get married or have kids.  Liar.  I will expand more on that later.

The group date white water rapiding snore.  Jade fell over, he rubbed her hypothermia out of her.  All the girls had to jump back into the rapids cuz they were getting all hot and bothered.  Like I said, snore fest.  They could have totally left Kelsey’s fake cackle out, but NOOOOO they had to let it echo over the ancient ruins….curse you producers.  I couldn’t sleep last night because of that.

Now to the good stuff.  Jordan shows up to the group date…and she is, (wait for it) sober!  For now.  She wants a second chance and since she doesn’t remember what she said to him or how she even left she has no idea what Chris is saying.  So she says I want you to see the real me, he agrees and she grabs a gin and tonic.  The other girls freak out.  Sorry if you are jealous and feel threatened by drunk Jordan, then you know you don’t have a connection to Chris.  I have a better connection than Jordan does so put your big girl panties on and just have a good time.  (I know Jordan will! More free booze!)  Ashley I. is a spoiled brat mean girl.  Gosh she needs to go home and I hope someone slaps her on the way out.  Preferably bring back Jillian so it’s nice and hard.  She had to channel her inner Lyndsey Lohan and be a mean girl.  “I am going to be mean to her because it’s not fair”  Oh boo hoo.  You are so out of your league with some of these girls it’s not even funny.  You will be going home soon cuz you are THE girl that men talk about NEVER wanting to date.  Her entitlement just irks the hell out of me.  Wondering if she thinks she’s some Long Island Princess or something.  YUCK!  Kuddos to Whitney for shutting her down and telling her to grow up in a nice chipmunk voice…it soothed me…a little.  Eventually Chris told Jordan to go home, so the universe was righted for some of the insecure crazy girls.

Britt got the one on one date. And it said something about heights and she cried and cried --- terrified, phobia!  Oh no!  Then Chris wakes her up in the wee morning hours and mashes on her in front of the other girls.  That caused some major problems.  I did have to feel for Carlie though since she had a pretty good make out session with him but then I got over it cuz guess what?  She signed up for the BACHELOR!

So Britt and Chris go on a hot air balloon ride and suddenly Britts not afraid of heights anymore?  You are in a friggin wicker basket with a balloon carrying you!!!! If you have a height PHOBIA, you would have been vomiting.  So you lied!  She also lied to Chris when she said she wanted to have a hundred babies.  Only girls that want to get the guy say that.  NO one wants to have 100 babies, especially since she doesn’t want to have one baby.  Just another push for her to get herself on the Bachelorette.  She is fake and I don’t like her anymore at all.  I hope she does leave on her own, she will never make it if she can’t be the center of attention in Iowa.  Oh wait, she probably would be (but doesn’t know it ---shhhhhh  don’t tell her!)

When Britt comes back and says we took a 2 hour nap….code for we did it in his room.  Kelsey gets her psycho on and is bound and determined to tell Chris about the death of her husband.  I kind of find it disturbing that Ashely I. said I don’t have a good story to tell???? WTF, like you wanted to have a husband die or something even worse so your story could one up her story?  Disturbing.

Speaking of disturbing….Kelsey’s chat with Chris?  I felt weird listening to them, let alone watching them.  After the story….and here is where the hairs on my neck stick up, because I just realized that Kelsey is a MAJOR sociopath.  She said, “Isn’t my story AMAZING, tragic, but isn’t it AMAZING”  That was just wrong…wrong…wrong.. I actually gasped when she said it.  Run Chris!!!!! 

So I am not sure if Chris felt this disturbing vibe from Kelsey or if he just needed to get away from women for a while but he chose to just walk away from the cocktail party.  Smart man.  Kelsey started out the night like a Cheshire Cat and still riding the crazy wave because I think she honestly felt that in her crazy mind that she sealed the deal and that he was going to send EVERYONE home at that point to run away with her.  Coo coo for cocoa puffs.  Go. Get. Therapy.  Then when she felt like maybe things weren’t going her way, she pulled the panic attack card.  She needs to go.  It wasn’t dramatic, it was pitiful. 

So we were left with a to be continued and I HATE that!!!  So I guess we will see who can crazy themselves out more than others on the next episode.  I am starting to believe that Whitney might be the one who wins.  Her voice is starting to sound a lot better when making solid points and sentences than any of those Bat Shit Crazy girls.  Did I just say that????

Random thoughts:

Both Whitney and Chris have no upper lips…coincidence?

I still have not seen Chris even talk to Samantha….who is she???

Until next episode!  See ya then!