My take on The Bachelor - Chris Soules

Ok, can I say that I am beyond excited that Chris Soules is the new bachelor???  Iowa will represent this year and I am just hoping people don’t make fun of it as Iowa really is a great place (despite the frigid temps).  I will have to cut a bitch if someone does poke fun and it won’t be pretty.  First of all, married to a farmer, I totally get Mr. Soules.  I am not sure why he hasn’t found anyone yet, but that’s not really my business and it’s going to make for great tv this season!

Now my blog will be about the bachelor this season and I probably won’t hold anything back, so don’t let your kids read this!

Let’s start with the Bachelor Live Red Carpet event.  Are you kidding me??  Stupid and a waste of time.  Good thing I dvr’d it cuz I fast forwarded through a lot of it.  Sean and Catherine are OLD, OLD news….I don’t even care about Andi cuz she let Chris go, so boo to her and her fiancé. I don’t even know his name and I don’t care.  And don’t even get me started on Nikki.  That whole event made me feel awkward and dirty and damn if I didn’t think I needed a shower afterwards.  While I like Chris Harrison, some of the things he tries to get people to say is just Icky.  I cringe when I hear the stupid things he says sometimes.

Now to the ladies.  I won’t even try to remember everyone’s names but I will use a description of them so that you will know exactly who I am talking about.  Let’s start with onion woman….OMG…..could she have been anymore cringe-worthy???  I cannot believe he kept her!!!!  And drunk Tara….I have to say I was so enjoying her through-out the night.  She reminded me a lot of someone…won’t name names here!!!  She was certainly getting her Jameson on wasn’t she??  Hell I would too….free booze!!

I had to really like Kaitlyn…she’s got a wicked sense of humor and she’s adorable.  I am not sure Chris can handle her though.  Loved her joke….”the tight seal and walrus”  clever and hilarious.  I will add that to my joke repertoire. It’s too good not to use.

Now to big eyes.  I could not stand her.  Everything that came out of her mouth I didn’t hear a word cuz I was staring at those big saucers all night.  Cow eyes…so maybe that is why Chris didn’t keep her.  He didn’t want to stare at his farm animals when exchanging vows.  Good call.

Rumor has it the front runner is Whitney and that Chris proposes to her.  Say it is not true as her Alvin and the chipmunk voice is going to cause me stress all season.  I physically cringe when I hear her talk….and she’s kinda bitchy and shallow. Maybe I will like her more as the season goes on but I doubt it! 

I liked Becca and Britt.  Rumor has it that Becca makes it to the final 3.  He didn’t even talk to her most of the evening, so that’s a surprise to me.  Jade is definitely down to earth.  I would probably pick her for him….but I don’t think he’s into brunettes.  But she is by far someone that you can at least listen to and not want to slit your wrists.

Rose Ceremony.  I was laughing my ass off at Tara. She was drunk, she was yawning, stomping her feet.  It made for good television. The girls were getting irritated with her and I was LOVING it!!!  I am still surprised he kept her cuz I don’t think there is a chance in hell for them, but maybe she will be entertaining.

Looks like the season will be filled with some BIG drama, or at least that’s what they want us to think.  With previews of everyone crying though….that’s going to get old.  Even Chris cries.  I am definitely going to have to incorporate wine into the season so that I can cry with them.  So until next Monday!  I will blog after the next episode