Tuesday, January 13, 2015

She thinks my tractor's sexy.....

Kimberly.  I know you didn’t get any time with Chris during the meet and greet but really?  STALKER….run Chris, run.  You knew he was too nice to say no to her, but then he adds her to the group date.  Now I can’t look at her without thinking of a boiling rabbit on the stove.  Good thing he let her go at the end.….Iowa boys are smart like that.

What Bachelor group date would not be complete without a pool party?  Come on, you can’t blame the guy for wanting to get a good look at the merchandise before he has to send them packing, can ya? 

Tractor race?  Let’s call them industrial lawn mowers shall we?  My vintage 1951 Ford tractor could have gone faster than those!!!  And let’s just prove the fact that ANYONE can drive one of those as the New Jersey Kim Kardashian  look-alike won (Ashley I).   If I have to look at her eyebrows much longer I think I will hurl.  I am surprised they did not come off in the pool.  She must have an eye gel pencil hidden in her bikini top to paint them back on again.  I really hope she goes home next episode…clearly she’s not my favorite.

Mackenzie is weird.  I just think she’s too young and doesn’t know how to have an adult conversation.  So she pulled out the kid card…..it’s hard to not look like an ass when they say they have a kid, then send them packing so she got a rose.  Let’s hope she doesn’t talk about noses or aliens again.  Nothing turns farmer Chris on like telling him he has a big nose.  Lesson 101 Mackenzie, just don’t TALK.  You are cute…..but shut it.

If Whitney is indeed going to be the one he picks this season, can I just thank the producers/editors of the show that we got a reprieve from her helium induced voice.  She was hardly shown and didn’t really talk much.  So bless them. 

Megan gets the 1 on 1 date and it’s a cool one.  He seemed pretty in to her but she does nothing for me.  Maybe it’s because I am a girl.  But she is totally off my radar. Or it could be that she put a motorcycle helmet on and rammed her head into everything in Chris’ room?  I so hope she goes home soon.  

Did I not just tell Mackenzie to shut it??? Talking about your kisses to a room full of catty girls will get you bullied.  Just write about it in your coloring book or Hello Kitty journal….puuuhleasssse!

Zombie paintball…..I would freakin LOVE that!!!  I would have shot everyone in the face that I didn’t like.  Cuz it hurts when you get shot.  But I guess that is what the helmets are for.  Onion girl did it again.  She is sooooo looney tunes.  And I busted a gut when she interrupted Chris talking about how bonkers she is.  She is a few fries short of a Happy meal.  Crazy….and he kept her!!  Hopefully it’s because the producers love the crazy and they promised him a new combine if he kept her.

Ok now Jordan was the one cracking me up this episode.  She was the drunk one and of course I laughed.  Tara seemed to be a little less drunk, but it didn’t help her.  They both went home and now I have no drunk one to laugh at.  There is always next episode.
Just a few extra tidbits:  I am still a Kaitlyn fan.  I threw up a little in my mouth when he gave Britt the Free Kiss coupon….gag.  Whitney looked super tan this episode.  Katie the teacher is so pretty.  Chris had a nasally voice sometimes, could be allergies.

Until next episode!!  See you then!







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